The Outside Called (Audio)

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phone

The Outside called.

Anxious nauseous anger

Weakness, vitality drains

Like open vein

How should I answer

Scenarios played out in my head

If this, then that, then this, then that

Same old round and round

Seeking answer, resolution, victory

Weaker with each turn of the wheel

Same old round and round

Turning inside I asked Her

I’ve never done that before

She answered, why would you again give away what belongs to me

The answer is not out there, it is here between us

The Outside called.

I didn’t answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

20 thoughts on “The Outside Called (Audio)

  1. You know, maybe after you get your paperwork caught up you can slip away each day for an hour lunch with Her. Seems like your conversations together have not been as many as of late? Your outside is calling way too much. Maybe you need an answering machine that says, “I’ll get back to you when and if I find my bloody phone!” (Yeah, I know it’s not that simple with your job.)

  2. Yep. God forbid PEOPLE should change, ’cause then everyone else’s world has to adjust after the tremors. It’s really the same as families of alcoholics, how they may have a difficult time when the substance abuser gets sober because it really affects THEIR lives as well, what has become “normal” to them.

    I asked Bran the other day what’s going to happen when we take too much oil out of the earth and leave all those empty chambers. Will it fall in on itself, become lopsided and warp out of its orbit? Sometimes I think that’s what WE do when people have taken too much out of us emotionally, or mentally, physically, or even spiritually for that matter.

  3. Well I really get that. When I finally starting verbalizing what I wanted in my life — I’d waited for 15 years while HL went to college part time to get his degree — it made all kinds of waves in my family. They just weren’t used to my wanting or needing time to myself. They still wanted me to just tend to them hand and foot. And the kids were in their 20’s by then. That’s what my comment about fracking was about on my One Seeker’s Journey page.

    It’s hard trying to be yourself, trying to figure out just who the heck that is! Yes, it’s like coming out.

  4. The truth is something in me broke a while back. The changes in me happened but not because I was wise or good. I am discovering that the only option I have is to listen. I am still so stupid when it comes to this. But it is all I know right now.

  5. Just answer me this. What do you do when you’ve had the same conversation with your soul over and over and over again and you never make any progress in changing the path you’re going down? What makes you prone to listen to her?

    • It was sad and scary but it was the truth. I did not shame myself or Her. If I believe anything I write I had to listen to Her. Walking the same pathways round and round has not helped. Just made me clever. 🙂 Pretty much all new stuff I write these days happened that day. It was a literal conversation with my soul. One of those weird things like singing the song to yourself. I do so appreciate you checking in on me. I am Paul in my own way. You are still doing miracles

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