How can I form the words?
What shape would they take?
Like a child I repeat the words of others.
I have no words of my own to capture and hold the content of my heart.
Like soap bubbles on the wind my thoughts emerge and float and burst.
They have dimension, glisten in the light, and wobble in the air,
Then Pop, at the slightest disruption of their tenuous presence.
I am in ferment.
Dumb, I am without speech.
There is only longing.
Like a child I repeat the words of others…..what a brilliant …raw observation….and yes, referring to the earlier comments…when i read your poems, I always think of Rumi….which is I guess one of the best associations there can be 🙂
That is most gracious to say about a country boy. 🙂 My ignorance is such that I have only just started to discover Rumi. Thank you for playing!
Lovely. I am getting more comfortable with longing, since Rumi writes that longing itself is prayer to the Beloved…..
Yes mam.
Oh my! I SEE the difference. I’ll have to do some experimenting with some old stuff. Kim’s poetry is a lot like that, too. She’s very good. Thank you so much for the lesson. That actually makes sense to me.
If you haven’t visited Writing With Some Ink and a Hammer yet, you might enjoy his stuff. It’s here: https://inkhammer.wordpress.com/
I smiled at the thought of your recording all that. I can just see you now in 1957 at a coffee shop, red and white stripped, long-sleeved shirt, red bandana tied around your neck, and a black beanie on your head standing at a mic intoning your poetry while a piano plays softly behind you… I think you should do it!
See. Its already in you.
I will go check out the ink and hammer site.
Thats funny about the beat poetry image. And its fun. Me and my boys were laughing when we did the other.
I’m thinking about recording most of the shorter stuff on here and putting it with each of the pieces. Most of what I write I imagine that it is spoken when I am writing it.
Imagine it spoken with some piano behind it like it did the Plato’s groove thing. Read it out loud and a rhythm will emerge out of you. I always imagine a rhythm and poetry to me should be read aloud at least what i like and do. Put the punctuation in as you read it.
Hm… Interesting. “Just take out the articles and switch up some words if you want to be more minimalist.” Can you explain that a little bit more? (I’m in learning mode.) You may have just made me realize why I have trouble understanding some folks’ poetry. I wonder if there’s not enough words for me to get the full meaning. (Have light bulbs going on here…)
First let me say I would not change a jot or tittle of anything you have written. And also I am not a “writer” I just do this to keep me from going nuts. Kim could probably give better advise. Really I have only recently begun to enjoy poetry and only some at that. With your leave I will play with the Eve piece and show you what I meant. I will just do the first part. And always remember that because you dont understand it does not mean you are not profound enough or something. It may just suck:) I will play a minute and post something back here.
These are your words. No punctuation. I put “ous” on a couple but this is what you wrote.
Naked modern Eve
Toying tasting tart red apple
Searching rebellious
Curios desirous She longs
Inner life carefully constructed
Hopes dreams brazen imaginings
Outer life crumbles
Weight of routine relentless reality
You are so crazy. You already did it with Eve. Just take out the articles and switch up some words if you want to be more minimalist. You are painting what your heart sees. Or go back to a paragraph that you wrote that you love and strip it down to only the words that must stay. I know you have written beautiful stuff. I read it.
I just wish I could write poetry like you guys who are SO good at it, make it look so effortless. Maybe some day…
Oh! Totally real.
“I have no words of my own to capture and hold the content of my heart.”
The sad part is I think most of us are still there as adults. The world does the best it can to beat that kind of creativity and joy out of us, imo. I loved this.
That’s what a clever boy says when he figures out he was just good at using other peoples stuff 😉 Thank you for reading it. I grin like the shy boy I used to be. And the happiness is not from my head that would be my ego but from my belly as it should be. At least I think I remember that. When I read your writing it feels authentic and real and that the words are attached to your heart. That’s what I like the most.